BNP Admits to "Problems with Oddballs"

The BNP has just published a draft of its "Activists' Handbook". Anyone interested in running a cult should download a copy—the rules of a dodgy political party could easily be adapted to serve the purposes of a dodgy religion. For example, complaints are only to be directed "up the chain of command". If you have a problem with some aspect of the BNP, you are not supposed to take the obvious step of discussing it with your friends. Instead, you are supposed to pass it up the chain of command (whatever that is, in a volunteer organisation) and then presumably your complaint—or you—will be dealt with.

"In any organisation made up of large numbers of volunteers," says the handbook, "there will inevitably be problems with personality clashes and oddballs." Oddballs? In the BNP? Really? Oh yes. There was BNP member Mark Bulman, who set fire to a mosque with a petrol bomb. There was Tony Lecomber, who was injured when his nailbomb detonated unexpectedly. There was Andy McLorie who petrol bombed a policeman's home. There was Paul Thompson who was jailed for six months for his part in a fight after a football match. Need I go on?

"The Internet is also populated by superficially convincing conspiracy theorists. A few of these theories may actually be true," conspires the handbook, "but the general public are unlikely ever to work that out, so for nationalists to accept and publicise them would only allow the media to portray us as cranks." Guess what, though: I don't need an excuse to portray the BNP as a bunch of cranks!

"Every now and then local activists come up with the idea of setting up local BNP websites or blogs. Unfortunately ... Many victims of Britain's lousy education system are totally unaware of the fact that they can't write proper English." Cranks and uneducated. The handbook continues, "This rule [against local websites] may occasionally be waved." I think the word they were looking for was "waived".

"Making a meeting look professional is very important ... Have a carafe or bottle of water and glasses on the top table (not tins of lager!)."